Kids Fun Recipes (Part 9)

Penicillin Pizza
6 English muffins
1 Jar pizza sauce
2 c Shredded mozzarella cheese
3 tb Grated Parmesan cheese
Yellow, green and red food
Coloring
--TOOLS--
Cookie sheet
Spoon
Bowl
Plastic sandwich bag


Split muffins and place on an ungreased cookie sheet, making sure they don't touch. Spoon a thin layer of sauce on top then cover the sauce with a layer of shredded cheese. Set aside. Pour the Parmesan into a small bowl and add five drops each yellow, red and green food coloring until it's an even shade of mold green. (Use plastic bag to prevent your fingers from staining.) Set aside. With an adult's help, broil the pizzas until the cheese has melted and begun to brown. Remove from oven and let cool about 1 minute. Carefully sprinkle mold on top of hot pizzas. Allow pies to cool slightly before you slip on a lab coat and serve. Serves 6 peaked patients.

Puked Up Potatoes
1 md Carrot
4 md Potatoes
3 Celery stalks
1/2 c Frozen green beans
pn Salt
12 oz Jar chicken or turkey gravy
3 tb Butter
1/2 c Milk
--TOOLS--
Carrot peeler
Knife
Cutting board
sm Saucepan
lg Saucepan
Potato masher
2 Serving dishes

With an adult's help, carefully peel carrots and potatoes. Chop the carrots and celery into small pieces and the potatoes into 1"cubes. Place the carrots, celery and green beans in the small pan and the potatoes in the larger one. Cover both with water and add a pinch of salt to each. With an adult's help, set the pans over medium heat until they come to a boil. Turn the heat to medium low. Pour the gravy into the pan of carrot mixture. With an adult's help, cook over low heat until hot, stirring often. Add the butter and milk to the potatoes and mash until they are fairly lump free. Place a lump of mashed potatoes on a plate, then cover with a ladle of pukey gravy. Serves 6 hurlers.

Sicko serving suggestion: Almost any meal tastes better when you heave puke on it! To create a realistically splattered tableau, place a plate full of food in the sink. Then take a large spoonful of gravy and, with a flick of the wrist, fling it onto the food.

Ralph's Retch
3 oz Box strawberry jello
40 Ice cubes
2 cn (12 oz) strawberry soda
--TOOLS--
Mixing bowl
Shallow 9x12 pan
Butter knife
Blender
Spoon
Tall glasses
Iced tea spoons

Prepare jello according to package directions. Pour into shallow pan and chill until firm, about 3 hours. Using a dull knife, make as many cuts as possible across the length and width, forming tiny cubes. With an adult's help, grind ice cubes in a blender. Spoon alternating layers of crushed ice and gelatin pieces into tall glasses, filling them about 2" away from tops. Slowly pour soda into each glass until full, then stir gently. Serve retch with ice tea spoons, so your guests can get at every chilly glob.

Sicko serving suggestion: Almost any cooked food can look like puke if you grind it for a few seconds in a blender. And it makes for a tasty sandwich spread!)

Sewer Soda
1 qt Chocolate chocolate chip ice Cream
3/4 c Chocolate syrup
1 l Club soda
--TOOLS--
lg Spoon
4 Tall glasses
Straws
Iced tea spoons

Let ice cream sit at room temperature unti lit is easy to scoop. Spoon ice cream into glasses until it is aboiut halfway full. Pour or squeeze about 3 tablespoons chocolate syrup into each glass. Slowly fill almost to the top with club soda and stir well with a spoon. Serve with a straw and tall spoon for excavating those luscious brown lumps. Serves 4 sewage slurpers.

Sicko serving suggestion: To make this slop especially disgusting, plop an unwrapped tootsie roll into each glass.

Snouts & Beans
2 cn (16oz) plain baked beans
1 ts Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c Brown sugar
2 tb Bbq sauce
1 tb Teriyaki sauce
8 Beef knockwursts
--TOOLS--
2 sm Saucepans
lg Spoon
Cutting board
Knife
Carrot peeler
Tongs or slotted spoon
Paper towels
Shallow serving dish

With an adult's help, empty the cans of beans into a saucepan and add worcestershire, brown sugar, bbq sauce and teriyaki sauce to the beans. Stir and set aside. With an adult's help, slice off the ends of the knockwurst. You do not need the ends for this recipe. Then slice the knockwurst into equal segments about 1" long, making each cut at the same slight angle. Place the snouts in a saucepan and cover them with water. With an adult's help, cook the snouts for about 5-10 minutes. Cook the beans on low heat, stirring often, until the sauce bubbles and thickens slightly. Carefully remove the snouts and place on paper towels to drain. Pour the beans into a serving dish and arrange snouts, nostril sides up, on top. Serves 4-6 little porkers.

Sicko serving suggestion: Dab pickle relish pig boogers in your knockwurst nostrils.

Copied from the kids fun recipes ebook: 120 fun and delicious recipes without changes

Kids Fun Recipes (Part 8)

Flat Cat Cookies
1 pk (20oz) refrigerated sugar Cookie dough
1 tb To 2 flour
Red cinnamon candies
Seedless strawberry jam
--TOOLS--
Rolling pin
Butter knife
Spatula
Cookie sheet
2 Spoons
Wire cooling rack


With an adult's help, preheat oven to temperature specified on package. Sprinkle flour on a clean, flat surface and roll out cookie dough slightly thicker than what the package calls for. Then, using butter knife, cut out cookies in the shape of a flattened cat. Use a large spatula to carefully transfer cookies to cookie sheet. Bake according to package directions. While they're cooling, count out enough cinnamon candies to put two eyes and a nose on each cat. Carefully flatten between the front and back of two spoons and set aside. Allow the cookies to cool on the cookie sheet for about 3 minutes and then press in eyes and nose. Transfer to wire rack to continue cooling. Dribble jam here and there on each cookie for blood. Makes approximately 3 dozen kitty road kill.

Sicko serving suggestion: Instead of making each cookie in a perfect cat shape, make a few that are missing a limb and/or tail. Why not even sever a head or two? Drip jam blood at stumps for an authentically dismembered look.

Gross Guess?!
2 c cooked spaghetti
2 c grapes
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
2 c jello
3 ice cream buckets (or any plastic containers) WITH covers

Put the spaghetti in 1 bucket/container. Cut a hand sized hole in the top of all of the bucket covers. Mix the grapes with 1 tbsp vegetable oil and put in a bucket. Put the 2 c jello in the 3rd bucket. Place all of the
covers on. Have a friend feel each one of them and guess what they are! The spaghetti is supposed to be liver. The grapes are supposed to be muscles and the jello is supposed to be brains!

Hairball Salad with Saliva Dressing
1 lg Ripe avocado
2 c Alfalfa sprouts
5 lg To 6 carrots, washed peeled and grated
Italian dressing
--TOOLS--
Paring knife
Spoon
Mixing bowl
Fork
Carrot peeler
Grater
4 Salad bowls

With an adults help, cut avocado in half. Use a spoon to scoop out the pit. Scoop avocado out of the shell and put in the bowl. Add sprouts to the avocado meat. Mash with a fork. It is ok to leave some lumps. Set
the mixture aside. Divide the grated carrots among the four salad bowls. Using your clean fingers and a spoon, make walnut size hairballs from the avocado mixture and arrange them on top of the grated carrots. Pour Italian "saliva" dressing over hairballs and serve. Serves 4 cat fanciers. Sicko serving suggestion:  Squeeze ribbons of chocolate icing "hairball" medicine out of a paper cone onto the backs of your guests hands to be licked off for dessert.

Homemade Maggot Stew
2 tb Vegetable oil
1/4 c Flour
1/2 ts Salt
1/2 ts Pepper
1/4 ts Garlic powder
1 lb Stew beef cut in one inch Chunks
2 cn (14 1/2oz) plain stewed Tomatoes
1 cn (10 1/2oz) beef broth
1 ts Thyme
1 Bay leaf
3 md To 4 carrots
1 c Fresh or frozen green beans
3/4 c Orzo pasta
--TOOLS--
Sharp knife
lg Stew pot with lid
Ziploc bag
Long handled cooking spoon
Carrot peeler
lg Saucepan
Colander
Slotted spoon
8 Soup bowls
Soup ladle

Place oil in stew pot and with an adult's help, turn heat to medium low. Measure flour, salt, pepper and garlic powder into ziploc bag. Drop in stew beef, seal bag and shake until well coated. Pour contents of bag into the stew pot. Turn the heat up to medium. With an adult's help, use a long handled spoon to turn the meat every 3-4 minutes, letting the meat brown well on all sides. Cook until the meat begins to look crusty. Add the tomatoes, broth, thyme and bay leaf. Bring to a boil, then lower heat to low. With an adult's help, peel the carrots and cut them into small coins with a knife. When the stew has simmered for one hour, add the carrots and green beans to the pot. Cover and simmer another 45 minutes. With an adult's help, cook the orzo in a
saucepan according to the package directions. when just tender, drain it through a colander into the sink, shaking out any excess water. These are your maggots. Add them to the stew pot, then turn off heat and carefully blend.

Nose Blow Burritos
2 md Tomatoes
1 lb Ground beef
1 pk Burrito or taco seasoning
1 cn (30oz) refried beans
8 Or 10 burrito size soft
Flour tortillas
2 ct (8oz) guacamole
1 ct (16oz) sour cream
--TOOLS--
Knife
Cutting board
3 Bowls
Frying pan
5 Spoons
Spatula
sm Saucepan

With an adult's help, dice the tomatoes into small pieces and place in a bowl. With an adult's help, place the ground beef in a frying pan, sprinkle with the burrito seasoning and saute on medium heat until it's well browned. Cover and set aside. With an adult's help, cook the beans in a saucepan on low heat, stirring occasionally. when the beans are hot, gently combine them with the ground beef in a clean bowl.

To build the burrito beaks: Set one tortilla on a dinner plate. Spoon an approximately one and one half inch wide strip of guacamole dip (rancid mucus) down the center of each tortilla. On top of that, spoon a strip of sour cream (fresh mucus). Tightly fold the left and right sides of the tortilla over your ingredients, then tuck the lower third of the whole burrito under itself, making a nose shape. With an adults' help, use a knife to cut out two large holes for nostrils. Gently squeeze the nose.

Sicko serving suggestion: Instead of napkins, set each guest's place with an individual size packet of facial tissues.

Copied from the kids fun recipes ebook: 120 fun and delicious recipes without changes   

Kids Fun Recipes (Part 7)

Chicken Pox Pancakes
Strawberries
Pancake mix
Bananas
Powdered sugar
--TOOLS--
Knife
Cutting board
Mixing bowl
lg Flat skillet
Spatula
Plates


With an adult's help, chop the berries into small chunks, allowing one or two per pancake face. Set aside. With an adult's help, prepare the pancake mix according to package directions. When the pancakes are
done, place each serving in a stack on a separate plate. For every two stacks of pancakes, you need to peel one banana. Carefully slice off the two ends and put one on top of each stack for a nose. Then cut two thin slices from each end for eyes. Then cut banana in half for a long curved mouth. Arrange the strawberry chunk chicken pox all around each face. Use clean fingers to drop a pinch of powdered sugar on each pox for a tasty bit of pus. Serves as many little polka dotted people as your heart desires.

Chopped Off Fingers Pizza
1 Red bell pepper (4 oz.)
12 Sticks (1 oz. each) mozzarella
8 Small (about 5" diam.) baked pizza crusts
1 cup Pizza sauce

Core, stem and seed pepper; cut lengthwise into 1"-wide strips. Cut each strip crosswise into 1/2" pieces (fingernails). Round corners on one end of each piece. Cut each cheese stick in half crosswise. On rounded end of each stick (finger), cut out a 1/2"- square notch into which a pepper piece will fit to make a nail. Lay crusts slightly apart on 3 baking sheets, each 12"x15". Spread pizza sauce evenly over each crust. Lay 3 cheese fingers well apart on each crust: fit a red pepper nail onto each. Bake in a 450F oven until cheese just begins to melt, about 8 min. Yield: 8 personal pizzas.

Chuckie's Upchuck
2 teaspoons of butter or margerine
2 medium onions chopped
16 ounces of cream style corn
2-10 ounce cans of cream of mushroom soup
2 cups milk

Whatever leftover vegetables you have in the fridge! (tomatoes, green beans, Mushrooms, cauliflower, etc) Saute onions in the butter. Add everything else and bring it to a boil. Simmer 5 minutes. Serve immediately with a barf bag of course!

Dead Sea Soup
1 Celery heart with whitish Leafy stalks
1 sm Jar artichoke hearts
1 cn (10 1/2oz) chicken with rice Soup
Blue and green food Colorings
1 c Fish shaped crackers
--TOOLS--
Knife
Cutting board
lg Saucepan
Spoon
Soup ladle
4 Soup bowls

With an adult's help, chop the celery heart into small pieces. Using clean hands, pull apart the surrounding whitish leafy stalks, leaving them long and stringy; these celery pieces will be your seaweed. Set aside. Drain the jar of artichoke hearts and cut into the size of a penny. Prepare soup according to directions. Add the celery and artichokes and heat until soup comes to a boil. Turn heat to low and carefully add two or three drops each green and blue food coloring until the soup reaches an appropriately murky seawater color.
Carefully ladle the hot soup into individual bowls and sprinkle a quarter cup of crackers on top of each one. Encourage some of the floating celery seaweed to hang over edge of bowls and serve. Artichoke pieces
and rice from the soup will sink.

Diaper Dump Porridge
1 cn (10 oz) beef broth
1 Tube refrigerated biscuits
1 cn (10 oz) chicken broth
--TOOLS--
2 sm Saucepans
Knife
Slotted spoon
Soup ladle
4 Soup bowls

Pour the beef broth into a saucepan. Set aside and don't add any water. Remove the biscuits from the tube, separate them and carefully cut each one in half. Then, using clean hands, sculpt the biscuit pieces into "dump" shapes. Add the dumps to the beef broth. With an adult's help, place the dumps and broth over medium heat and cook until the mixture comes to a boil. Turn the heat to low, cover the pan with a lid
and simmer for 15-20 minutes. Carefully check the broth level often. Pour the chicken broth (diaper fluid) and one can water into the second saucepan. With a slotted spoon, carefully transfer the cooked dumps from the beef broth and place in the chicken broth pan. Heat chicken broth according to the directions on the can.

Sicko serving suggestion: When you're done eating, place a container of baby wipes on the table for guests to clean up with!

Copied from the kids fun recipes ebook: 120 fun and delicious recipes without changes